odd???

i sometimes find the sensations i experience somewhat oddly composed. for example: i am soon to be married. i find in this thought a variety of feelings: relief; a romantic easiness; sexual arousal; irresistible smileyness; and, perhaps, etc. of particular interest to me, though, is the nature of the relief (just stop your mind right there: i'm not going there. well, not really). relief that wedding planning is over, that non-stop work is coming to a break, and that i will perhaps have more luxury time on my hands, etc. now, here is where i find my feelings oddly composed. Holly and i have a rather extensive collection of books that i have hardly been able to spend any time with this summer. usually my summers are centered on reading, and this summer i've largely missed it. so along with the relief of marriage is the excitement of having more time to read. but, i suppose because that excitement falls into thinking of marriage, when i find myself thinking of reading (just reading) after the wedding, i also experience feelings of a romantic easiness; irresistible smileyness; and, perhaps, etc. . . . . . . .
is that odd????