cigars and other oblong things

i had no idea there was such a thing as the military channel. the trouble with the current popularity of smoking cigars is that it seems to feed a certain artificial masculinity already too prevalent in american men. as one who is a fan of quality tobacco i can speak to the virtual oblivion in many smokers who have no idea what they're smoking, except that it is (they suppose) what they're supposed to be smoking. i hear a lot of "oh man, this cigar i had was so good" but not a lot of "i liked ________ about it," unless you fill in the blank with the kill all "smooth." i believe the problem is that they haven't actually liked the cigar, but they're quite aware they're supposed to have liked it. and cigar companies know this, and know that it's just as often about the masculinity of the cigar as it is about the quality of it. for what other reason would Arturo Fuente have a line of (very good) cigars bearing Hemingway's name?

but as i was saying, i had no idea there was such a thing as the military channel. i love finding a good cigar shop. the leaf in abilene is decent. metro cigars in menomonee falls, wisconsin, is better. it's also where i am right now. but the tv's on the military channel, and the conversation focuses on the WMDs on tv and on the "jokers" (and worse names) that are currently protesting the war in Iraq, just down the street. but it's ok because "we're not occupiers, we're liberators," and "this cigar is so smooth." now, far be it from me to judge people for enjoying a pastime i too enjoy, while holding opposing views on what are and are not acceptable forms of military and economic colonialism, but i do find the pairing ironic. a great big cigar, and a show about stuff that blows stuff up and complaints about the "jokers," who are "probably all women," protesting war. i don't know, maybe they are all women. and maybe that eight inch cigar is compensating for something. it's just a thought.